Olisadebe review: the best, the worst, the mediocre


UTOYA ISLAND XI’s back five rocked the record books by failing to register a single point between them for the whole Olisadebe Euro 2012 tournament.

It is the first time in Kenna history that a team’s goalkeeper and four defenders scored nil points in a competition.

The defensive shower of Shay Given, Per Mertesacker, Andrea Ranocchia, Marcus Antonsson and Dejan Lovren either put in an awful shift or didn’t even go to Poland or Ukraine due to form or injury.

“Obviously some of my targets didn’t come off,” said the Utoya manager, whose strike force of Ronaldo and Lovenkrands were named the most mediocre of the contest.

Don’t Know Yet, whose manager was making his debut, had the surprise top strike force of Fernando Torres and Titus Bramble player Georgios Samaras.

Team

Best – The Euroscpetics: 157 points
Worst – Make Party: 76 points

Player

Best – Jordi Alba (The Eurosceptics): 39 points
Worst – Wojciech Szczesny (Testiculadewland), John O’Shea (Just FEMEN): -1 point each

Strike force

Best – Samaras and Torres (Don’t Know Yet): 39 points
Worst – Ben Arfa and Kuyt (Bwing on the Euwos): 5 points
Most mediocre – Ronaldo and Lovenkrands (Utoya Island XI): 24 points (average: 24.21)

Midfield

Best – Xavi, Pirlo, Gerrard and Veloso (Every Pole’s a Goal): 72 points
Worst – Lampard, Robben, Malouda and Pranjic (Don’t Know Yet): 17 points
Most mediocre – Tziolis, The Ox, Ozil and Konoplyanka (Testiculadewland): 45 points (average: 43.28)

Defence

Best – Cech, Alba, Terry, Alves and K Papadopoulos (The Eurosceptics): 85 points
Worst – Given, Mertesacker, Ranocchia, Antonsson and Lovren (Utoya Island XI): 0 (zero) points
Most mediocre – dead heat between Kranjar, Silva, Rosicky and Husyev (Hoodyanika Bolokov), and, de Jong, Khedira, Busquets and Erikson (The Horn of Africa): 45 poins each (average 42.71)

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