‘Serpent-tongued’ new treasurer divides opinion


Abacus

New bean counter joins league committee

THE INTEGRITY of the Kenna has been called into question after the controversial appointment of a new league treasurer.

The Chairman today came out in support of his decision to appoint the Bala Rinas boss as official bean counter, despite murmurings from the Kenna rank and file.

“The Bala Rinas manager has my full backing and is integral to the new direction the league is taking towards a system of annual subscription. Ultimately this will bring more benefits to managers,” said the Chairman at a press conference, setting off a roomful of corporate prattle detectors.

Other managers are less than convinced.

“I have grave concerns about his integrity” – the Young Boys boss.

“He’s a complete con man who can’t be trusted. I’ve been burnt many times by this tea leaf with his silky, serpent tongue. I was happier when the money went towards the Chairman’s taxi and kebab fund, ” said the Judean Peoples’ Front gaffer, inadvertently pinpointing exactly why a treasurer was needed in the first place.

“You’re going to need an ethics committee after this atrocity” – the Lurliners manager.

In the face of this opposition, the Chairman remained steadfast in his praise of the new treasurer, whose ascent to the committee was reportedly ratified on the strength of single spreadsheet.

“He gave a very convincing presentation about marvellous opportunities in ‘brick’, I think he said, and sound investments in the Spanish construction industry, which is funny, because every time you see them in the news they look like they’re in a spot of bother,” he said, merrily signing a personal cheque for 500 branded hard hats.

“Anyway, the diagram he drew of a triangle to explain just how the scheme would work was extremely impressive. It was all jolly technical, but he’s assured me that this time next year we’ll be millionaires.”

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