Kenna archives reveal secret to success


Roy Castle

Record breakers: In its eight-year history the Kenna has never had a single ginger manager (photo courtesy of D*J*P)

WINNING Kenna teams score 33 points a week and losing ones 22 points, according to league records published today.

Archives show that in the eight football seasons since the Kenna League was founded each player in the winning team picked up three points a week on average – 111 points a season.

Stats also show FC Testiculadew’s ‘Kenna in the bag‘ championship in 2011/12 was the league’s most dominant.

FCT romped home a record 129 points ahead of the pack, were the highest scoring team ever and clocked up the best ever Manager of the Month performance: 251 points in January 2012.

Vasco De Beauvoir hold the golden boot record with 80 goals scored during their double-winning campaign of 2009/10.

Enjoying considerably less renown are the Fat Ladies, who two seasons after winning their 2007/08 Kenna crown pulled out the worst league performance in history, finishing 205 points adrift.

In the same year, Dynamo Temple ended the defence of their Kenna championship by picking up just four dismal points in May’s Manager of the Month contest.

Kenna managers will hope to be breaking these records when they assemble in a London pub to attend the annual auction next month ahead of the English football season.

The Kenna chairman, who last week was confirmed as the most decorated manager in the league’s history, said: “Perhaps the greatest honour should be reserved for the Judean Peoples’ Front manager. He produced what is officially the most mediocre campaign ever, finishing within a point of the average score.”

The name’s Bonda…

A quick thought for former Kenna player Pascal Chimbonda, who today joined Evo-stik League outfit Market Drayton.

The chairman and other sundry Kenna managers spent many an underage Saturday enjoying the pubs and ‘club’ of the Shropshire town.

Chimbonda first appeared in the Kenna in 2006/07 season, picking up 66 points for the Fat Ladies as they reached fourth place.

In the next campaign the French defender was signed by the Barking Hackney manager, but released in October after only scoring nine points.

Chimbonda was last seen in the Kenna scoring 42 points for the Pep Guardiola XI as they finished lower mid-table in 2009/10.

All-time records

All-time records

Highs and lows:

2005/06 – season review

2005-06 table

2005/06 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings

2006/07 – season review

2006-07 table

2006/07 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings

2007/08

2007-08 table

2007/08 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings

2008/09

2008-09 table

2008/09 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings

2009/10

2009-10 table

2009/10 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings

2010/11

2010-11 table

2010/11 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings

2011/12

2011-12 table

2011/12 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings and form guide

2012/13

2012-13 table

2012/13 Jeff Kenna League table – final standings and form guide

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