‘Kenna DVDs’ turn up in phone-hacking trial


Jenna Jameson

Former glories: A Jenna Jameson film is at the centre of a Kenna controversy involving former league winner the Young Boys manager and the phone-hacking trial (photo courtesy of worldstreetphotos.com)

SECRET videos belonging to football clubs in the Kenna League have turned up into the phone-hacking trial at the Old Bailey, it has been claimed.

Amongst the contents of a bag alleged by the prosecution to have been hidden by Rebekah Brooks’s husband the day she was arrested, investigators unearthed several adult DVDs including the title Where the Boys aren’t 17.

The manager of Kenna League club Young Boys of Vauxhall says the film contains through-the-keyhole recordings of his side’s top secret training sessions.

The Welshman claims the illicit content has compromised his team’s competitiveness this season.

Disgruntled supporters’ groups have pointed out the Young Boys manager’s outburst is merely a smokescreen to deflect attention away from the club’s appalling league form and failure to progress from the Canesten Combi Cup group stages this week.

They also claim the film has nothing to do with Young Boys and is actually a romp starring ‘The Queen of Porn’ Jenna Jameson on a plane full of lesbians.

The Sporting Lesbian manager, another Canesten Combi Cup group C side eliminated from the tournament, is also said to have mobilised club lawyers after two other lesbian films were found in Charlie Brooks’s bag: Lesbian Psychodrama Volume 2 and Lesbian Psychodrama Volume 3.

Media commentators maintain such a link between the high-profile criminal case and London’s leading pub-based fantasy football league is whimsical at best.

Meanwhile, the PSV Mornington renaissance continued this week under their maverick new manager, a cardboard cut out of Pep Guardiola.

Santi Cazorla scored two goals for PSV to both ensure their progress out of group D of the Canesten Combi Cup and cut the gap on fellow relegation strugglers Spartak Mogadishu and the aforementioned Young Boys.

Known as Pep ‘Cardiola’ to wags at the club, the caretaker manager was given the job permanently last week after turning around their fortunes in the league and cup.

The former PSV manager was sacked before Christmas for overseeing five of the worst months of performances in Kenna history.

The last 16 draw for the Canesten Combi Cup will take place at the season’s second transfer window two weeks on Friday.

Managers have until noon on Wednesday 5 February to submit their unwanted players to Kenna HQ. Two days later an auction will be held at The Enterprise in Holborn where managers can fill the gaps in their team with available players and the gaps in their stomach by several glasses of premium lager.

Cup group stage results

Cup group stage final standings January 2014

Cup group stage final standings January 2014

Kenna table

Kenna table week 20 - 21 January 2014

Kenna table week 20 – 21 January 2014

Weekly scores

    Manager Points Goals
1 FC Testiculadew James N 46 5
2 Lokomotiv Leeds Ben S 43 2
3 Pikey Scum Jack 40 1
4 Team Panda Rules OK George 39 2
5 This is Sparta…Prague Rich 37 1
6 Northern Monkeys Hugo  36 4
7 Judean Peoples Front Sholto 34 2
8 Headless Chickens John N 34 1
9 Piedmonte Phil 32 2
10 KS West Green Stix 30 2
11 Rapids De Cullons CF Jorge 29 3
12 Still Don’t Know Yet Pete 26 2
13 Just put Carles Carles 24 0
14 St. Reatham FC Mike  23 0
15 PSV Mornington El Pons 22 2
16 Hairy Fadjeetas Aiden 22 1
17 Sporting Lesbian Ben M 22 0
18 Newington Reds Dudley 19 1
19 Bala Rinas Lewis 18 0
20 Dynamo Charlton Alex 16 1
21 Dulwich Red Sox Luke 13 0
22 Spartak Mogadishu Abdi 12 0
23 Young Boys Denney 9 0
         
    Points Player  
  Player of the week 22 Dzeko, E – MCY – STR  
    Club FC Testiculadew  
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