PSV Mornington 2013/14

Pons

Another wasted chance: The PSV Mornington manager

Manager: El Pons (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @RamonPonsUK

Since: 2009

Last season: 10th

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – 9th in 2009/10)

Sympathies: Barcelona

Darts music: La Bamba – Ritchie Valens

Outlook (on 27 August 2013): The original Catalan import, the PSV manager was a Kenna regular long before London’s trendiest bars sold Estrella Damm in bottles, let alone on tap. Unfortunately, that wealth of experience has only brought the antimadridista three mid-table finishes and the ignominy of last-placed relegation in 2010/11. His most notable contribution to the Kenna remains the acrimonious El Gran Cat fight scandal in April 2012, when a war of words erupted with rival Catalan the Just Put Carles manager.

Santi Cazorla and Jose Enrique aside, this season’s PSV team look to continue the mediocre tradition. Robles and Muniesa haven’t yet left the bench; Amorebieta, Gutierrez, N’Zogbia and Carroll are all injured; and commentators still use the words ‘confidence’ and ‘lack of’ when speaking of Fernando Torres. Support for the side’s top talent is left up to a battling-for-his-place Jolean Lescott and Leroy ‘The Bouncer’ Fer.

It’s only a matter of time before yet again the high pressure of the Kenna forces the PSV manager to seek tactical inspiration by locking himself in his office with a week’s supply of arroz con leche and a cardboard cutout of Pep Guardiola.

Robles, J EVE £0.5m
Kelly, M LIV £0.5m
Amat, J SWA £0.5m
Lescott, J MCY £1.5m
Amorebieta, F FUL £2m
Nani MUN £0.5m
Cazorla, S ARS £30m
Westwood, A AVL  £0.5m 
Fer, L NOR £0.5m
Torres, F CHE £30m
Carroll, A WHM £15m
£81.5m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Did not attend. League membership under review.

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out       In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
DEF Enrique, J LIV Free DEF Kelly, M LIV £0.5m
DEF Muniesa, M STO Free DEF Amat, J SWA £0.5m
MID Gutierrez, J NOR Free MID Nani MUN £0.5m
MID N’Sommnia AVL Free MID Westwood, A AVL £0.5m
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PSV Mornington

Manager: El Pons (Catalunya)

Since: 2009

Last season: 10th

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – 9th in 2009/10)

Sympathies: Barcelona

Darts music: La Bamba – Ritchie Valens

Outlook: A lower mid-table club, and from the looks of this offering, lower mid-table ambition. A hotch potch back five and, £28m Mata and £17m Ba aside, a team that used to be sort of promising. Leiva’s a holding midfielder returning from long injury, just two goals were scored from Delap throw ins last season and Noble’s out of touch at this level. Gabby Agbonlahor? Didn’t he play for England once?

(B) = player awarded under the Titus Bramble ruling.

de Gea, D MUN £0.5m
Ramis, I WIG £0.5m
Chico SWA £6m
Sagna, B ARS £10m
Lescott, J MCY £0.5m
Mata, J CHE £28m
Noble, M WHM £8m
Sidwell, S FUL £8m
McClean, J SUN £0.5m
Agbonlahor, G AVL £7m
Jones, K STO £0.5m
 Total £69.5m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Bosingwa, J QPR £10m Lescott, J MCY £0.5m
Sahin, N LIV £7m McClean, J SUN £0.5m
Ba, D CHE £17m Jones, K STO £0.5m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

Out     In
Gazzaniga, P (B) SOT £4.5m de Gea, D MUN £0.5m
Heitinga, J EVE £6m Ramis, I WIG £0.5m
Senderos, P FUL £5m Chico SWA £6m
Fabio QPR £5m Sagna, B ARS £10m
Brown, W SUN £3m Bosingwa, J QPR £10m
Delap, R STO £0.5m Sidwell, S FUL £8m
Leiva, L LIV £0.5m Sahin, N LIV £7m

PSV Mornington (second window)

Manager: Mr Ramon Pons Condom (CAT)

Since: 2009

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Barcelona

de Gea, D MUN £16m
Ferdinand, A QPR £7m
Cuellar, C AVL £2m
Brown, W SUN £6m
Alcaraz, A WIG £0.5m
Lampard, F CHE £28m
Murphy, D FUL £12m
Ben Arfa, H NEW £0.5m
Song, A ARS £3m
Defoe, J TOT £12m
Carroll, A LIV £6m
£93m

PSV Mornington (first window)

Manager: Mr Ramon Pons Condom (CAT)

Since: 2009

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Barcelona

de Gea, D MUN £16m
Cahill, G BOL £15m
Salgado, M BLR £6m
Brown, W SUN £6m
Savic, S MCY £0.5m
Lampard, F CHE £28m
Murphy, D FUL £12m
Ben Arfa, H NEW £0.5m
Song, A ARS £3m
Defoe, J TOT £12m
Saha, L EVE £0.5m
£99.5m

PSV Mornington

Manager: Mr Ramon Pons Condom (CAT)

Since: 2009

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Barcelona

de Gea, D MUN £16m
Cahill, G BOL £15m
Salgado, M BLR £6m
Brown, W SUN £6m
Aurelio, F LIV £0.5m
Lampard, F CHE £28m
Murphy, D FUL £12m
Ben Arfa, H NEW £0.5m
Song, A ARS £3m
Defoe, J TOT £12m
Saha, L EVE £0.5m
£99.5m