Manager: George (Bromley)
Darts music: True Love Ways – Buddy Holly
Outlook (on 4 September 2013): The debut of the Team Panda Rules OK manager brings a raw south east England edge to the league. Known around the club as ‘The Panda’, the gaffer shares little in common with the soon-to-be-extinct bundle of joy at Edinburgh Zoo. His origins and accent more readily liken the Bromley man to an extra from hit TV show The Inbetweeners, a link cemented when he once revealed he actually went on a school geography field trip to Swanage. He maintains rumours he punched a fish and asked a pensioner at an ice cream stand whether she wanted to suck him off are purely here say.
The form of Olivier Giroud will settle the nerves of the team, even if Kane’s inactivity does the opposite. The Panda will be closely tracking Gareth Barry’s progress now the midfielder’s move to Merseyside means a choice between releasing him or Distin come the October transfer window. The rest of the side literally contains a couple of Johnsons.
With just one substitute appearance, Nani really is living up to the notion that he’s just a not very good Michael Jackson.
Under Kenna rules, the manager must release one of the players in red at the next transfer window.
First transfer window – 5 October 2013
Starting budget: £11m, remaining budget: £0m, net loss: £11m
(Hyperlink denotes to which club player was sold)
|MID||Barry, G||EVE||£0.5m||MID||Kasami, P||FUL||£0.5m|
|STR||Kane, H||TOT||Free||STR||Campbell, F||CAR||£11m|
Second transfer window – 7 February 2014