Rapids de Cullons CF 2013/14

Jorge

Senor Peligroso: The Rapids de Cullons CF manager

Manager: Jorge (Catalunya)

Twitter name: @BoatBarandCo

Since: 2010

Last season: Did not enter

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – 12th in 2010/11)

Sympathies: Barcelona

Darts music: Boat drinks – Jimmy Buffett

Outlook (on 30 August): ‘Come back to the boat’. The words sound so innocent. After eight hours of Kenna auction in the pub, the Rapids manager invited the league back to his bar: a boat moored on the River Thames. What most managers weren’t expecting (some, including the chairman, already know the boat well, and some other places) was another six hours of shooters surrounded by young Spanish women. Football aside, this is the most dangerous manager in the Kenna.

On the pitch, Rapids have the the potential to beat the manager’s last Kenna outing of 12th place. Buying players new to England’s shores is always a risk, but Negredo and Aspas are already proving to be worthy signings. The rest of the side look capable of making appearances and providing spark, although how long will it be before John Terry is hauled before the authorities on a charge of inciting racial hatred?

Stekelenburg, M FUL £17m
Terry, J CHE £14m
Alonso, M SUN £2.5m
Lugano, D WBA £1.5m
Caulker, S CAR £1m
Young, A MUN £3.5m
de Guzman, J SWA £4m
Pienaar, S EVE £8m
Arteta, M ARS £10m
Negredo, A MCY £25m
Crouch, P STO £10m
    £96.5m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Did not attend. League membership under review.

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out       In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
DEF Garrido, J NOR Free DEF Alonso, M SUN £2.5m
STR Aspas, I LIV Free STR Crouch, P STO £10m
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