Judean Peoples’ Front 2013/14

Sholto profile pic

Breivik-a-like: The Judean Peoples’ Front manager

Manager: Sholto (Wales)

Since: 2008

Last season: 3rd

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – last season)

Sympathies: Manchester United

Darts music: Serial Killa – Snoop Doggy Dogg

Outlook: Once upon a time the Judean Peoples’ Front manager’s most notable achievement was his uncanny resemblance to Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik, but in May the Welshman secured a podium finish – his best ever in four Kenna campaigns.

Last season’s success was built on a solid defensive platform – unlike his Scandinavian lone wolf doppelganger his side found the target the least number of times in the field – and again goals would appear to be this new team’s weakness. Jelavic and Rodriguez scored 14 times between them last term, and the Croat looked out of sorts compared to his initial spurt in England.

In midfield it’s the same story. Stewart Downing’s shortcomings are well documented, Holtby sits deep, Sidwell’s ginger and while an impressive player the marquee £23m signing Jack Wilshere struggles to apply his particular talents to the Kenna scoring system.

Just as Njemana Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic hint that the JPF manager is searching for that same defensive formula again, Ciaran Clark and Liam Ridgewell imply he ran out of ideas in the auction . At least Allan McGregor should start every game.

Adrian WHU £0.5m
Ivanovic, B CHE £22m
Ridgewell, L WBA £4.5m
Clark, C AVL £1m
Vidic, N MUN £8.5m
Routledge, W SWA £1m
Wilshere, J ARS £23m
Erikson, C TOT £11m
Sidwell, S FUL £6.5m
Rodriguez, J SOT £0.5m
Jelavic, N HUL £3m
£85.5m

First transfer window – 5 October 2013

Starting budget: £16.5m, remaining budget: £5m, net loss: £11.5m

(Hyperlink denotes to which club player was sold)

Out       In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
MID Downing, S WHU £0.5m MID Morrison, R WHU £0.5m
MID Holtby, L TOT Free MID Erikson, C TOT £11m
STR Rodriguez, J SOT Free STR Rodriguez, J SOT £0.5m

Second transfer window – 7 February 2014

Out       In      
Pos Player Team Sold Pos Player Team Paid
GK McGregor, A HUL £0.5m GK Adrian WHU £0.5m
MID Morrison, R WHU Free MID Routledge, W SWA £1m
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Judean Peoples’ Front

Manager: Sholto (Wales)

Since: 2008

Last season: 9th

Trophy cabinet: empty (best finish – 9th last season and in 2008/09)

Sympathies: Manchester United

Darts music: Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life – Monty Python

Outlook: Underachievement and a striking resemblance to Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik has blighted the Welshman’s managerial career, but this time he looks to have assembled a capable side. Jelavic is already living up to the hype, and Hart, Cashley and Enrique should be good for at least 150 points each.

No Brambles.

Hart, J MCY £22m
Enrique, J LIV £13m
Cole, A CHE £17m
Monreal, N ARS £22m
Lowton, M AVL £0.5m
Valencia, A MUN £17m
Britton, L SWA £0.5m
Cole, J WHM £10m
Beausejour, J WIG £0.5m
Adebayor, E TOT £0.5m
Rodriguez, J SOT £0.5m
 Total £103.5m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Gallas, W TOT £17m Monreal, N ARS £22m
Diaby, A ARS £0.5m Cole, J WHM £10m
Jelavic, N EVE £21m Adebayor, E TOT £0.5m
Rodallega, H FUL £0.5m Rodriguez, J SOT £0.5m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

Out     In
Hutton, A AVL £0.5m Gallas, W TOT £17m
Squillaci, S ARS £0.5m Lowton, M AVL £0.5m
Parker, S TOT £0.5m Diaby, A ARS £0.5m
Tiote, C NEW £0.5m Beausejour, J WIG £0.5m

Judean Peoples’ Front (second window)

Manager: Mr Sholto Gilbertson (WAL)

Since: 2008

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Manchester United

Ruddy, J (B) NOR £0.5m
Heitinga, J EVE £8m
Gallas, W TOT £10m
Toure, K MCY £7m
Upson, M STO £4m
Scholes, P MUN £0.5m
Duff, D FUL £8m
N’Zogbia, C AVL £0.5m
Ramires CHE £9.5m
van Persie, R ARS £38.5m
Bellamy, C LIV £0.5m
£87m

Judaen Peoples’ Front (first window)

Manager: Mr Sholto Gilbertson (WAL)

Since: 2008

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Manchester United

Ruddy, J (B) NOR £0.5m
Williams, A SWA £2.5m
Gallas, W TOT £10m
Toure, K MCY £7m
Upson, M STO £4m
Cleverley, T MUN £7.5m
Duff, D FUL £8m
Derry, S QPR £1m
Ramires CHE £9.5m
van Persie, R ARS £38.5m
Bellamy, C LIV £0.5m
£89m

Judean Peoples’ Front

Manager: Mr Sholto Gilbertson (WAL)

Since: 2008

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Manchester United

Ruddy, J (B) NOR £0.5m
Johnson, G LIV £13m
Gallas, W TOT £10m
Bramble, T SUN £1m
Berra, C (B) WLV £0.5m
Taarabt, A QPR £11.5m
Duff, D FUL £8m
Valencia, A MUN £7m
Ramires CHE £9.5m
van Persie, R ARS £38.5m
Heskey, E (B) AVL £0.5m
£100m