FC Testiculadew

Manager: James N (Yorkshire)

Since: 2011

Last season: Champions

Trophy cabinet: League and cup double (last season)

Sympathies: Everton

Darts music: Big Balls – ACDC

Outlook: Ever the pantomime villain after his indiscretions ahead of the Olisadebe Euro 2012, a ripple of boos accompanied the FCT manager’s late arrival to last week’s auction. Unperturbed he went on to assemble a capable side, but how long will fans’ patience last if he fails to defend the title without a big-money signing?

No Brambles

Ruddy, J NOR £1.5m
Debuchy, M NEW £0.5m
Davies, B SWA £0.5m
Luiz, D CHE £3m
Evans, J MUN £7.5m
Akpan, H REA £0.5m
Toure, Y MCY £21m
Pienaar, S EVE £12m
Wilshere, J ARS £0.5m
Remy, L QPR £35m
Berbatov, D FUL £37m
 Total £119m

Second transfer window – 1 February 2013

Out     In
Simpson, D NEW £6.5m Debuchy, M NEW £0.5m
Vertonghen, J TOT £13m Davies, B SWA £0.5m
Bannan, B AVL £0.5m Akpan, H REA £0.5m
Crouch, P STO £2m Remy, L QPR £35m

First transfer window – 26 October 2012

Out     In
Vidic, N MUN £13m Evans, J MUN £7m
Sinclair, S SWA £11m Bannan, B AVL £0.5m
Frei, K FUL £5.5m Wilshere, J ARS £0.5m
Podolski, L ARS £11m Berbatov, D FUL £37m

DTS Grosvenor (second window)

The Dan Terry Seduction made no transfers in the second window

Manager: Mr Dan Terry (ENG)

Since: 2010

Trophy cabinet: empty

Sympathies: Kidderminster Harriers

Hart, J MCY £20m
Fabio MUN £1m
Elokobi, G WLV £0.5m
King, L TOT £0.5m
Martin, R NOR £0.5m
Tiote, C NEW £0.5m
Malouda, F CHE £26m
Larsson, S SUN £6.5m
Osman, L EVE £5m
Crouch, P STO £8m
Odemwingie, P WBA £19m