Jim White being filmed arriving at the Sky Sports studios to take us to the big moment.
Footage of the Spartak Mogadishu manager making Carlos Tevez walk the plank while jabbing him in the back with a rocket-propelled grenade launcher.
A clip of the Polonia Forsyth manager in a chintz dressing gown waving off Hugo Rodallega at her front door.
These are just some of the images we’d like to bring you as the close of submissions for the first transfer window approaches at midday today.
Instead, because of copyright restrictions, all we can provide you with on this momentous occasion is an abstract photo representing what opportunities await as we peep through the window.
For some, transfer night will bring goals, assists, clean sheets and most importantly points to managers looking to press on over the winter period.
For most, Thursday night will end in despair, desparation and the big-money signing of a player you’d never heard of at the pre-season auction.
Find below a list of the top five players in each position not to be part of the Kenna yet this season.
Agbonlahor – 39 points
Adebayor – 35 points
Di Santo – 33 points
A Johnson – 31 points
Long – 31 points
Mata – 30 points
Pilkington – 27 points
Eagles – 25 points
B Johnson – 25 points
Diame – 23 points
P Jones – 37 points
A Williams – 29 points
S Taylor – 26 points
J Evans – 25 points
Vorm – 29 points
Begovic – 28 points
Krul – 26 points
Rudd – 7 points
Lindegaard – 6 points
Once all transfer submissions have been made, a full list of available players will be shared in the next two days.
The word ‘wantaway’ crops up every summer to the chagrin of the Kenna manager.
With the auction taking place three weeks before the end of the transfer window, there’s always a risk of blowing the budget on a ‘top, top, top, top‘ player for him to do one before the season has even begun.
So with the potential for either player to stay in England and rack up a Kenna-winning points total, which player is more likely to go for the most money at auction?